Dearest Our Voice Readers,
We have not met, but I am delighted to make your acquaintance. This new series is going to be all the buzz in the ton, and I hope you will have your eyes peeled as we learn more about examples of positive and negative relationships through the media.
Join us in this first episode below as we explore social norms, boundaries, sexuality at older ages, and more through the new season of Bridgerton.
Social Norms
Social norms are very present in Bridgerton. From ideas about marriage to the stigma around sex, there are upheld rules that show up in every episode.
Lady Bridgerton upholds societal ideals of marriage with two of her children: Eloise and Benedict.
Eloise has been out in the marriage mart for three years, longer than is typical in this society. She expresses to Lady Bridgerton that she wishes to be a spinster. This is met with Lady Bridgerton telling her she is not trying and that she just has not met the right gentleman.
Lady Bridgerton fails to listen to Eloise in this moment and instead holds up the need in this society for women to be married by a certain time.
She also fails to listen to Benedict when he expresses that he might not want to marry. She says a similar sentiment to what she told Eloise. This is a strong example of social norms being ingrained in society, even at the individual level.
This theme is carried throughout the season as Lady Bridgerton still wants Benedict to marry but cautions him about trying to marry Sophie due to her status.
Benedict calls her out on this since she has constantly told her children how she wishes them all a wonderful love match.
Lady Bridgerton wants the best for her son, but she is still holding these social norms about class and interclass relationships. She says that she wishes the world were different.
Eventually, she does help Benedict pursue his relationship with Sophie, but the class norms are still present as they have to fabricate parts of Sophie’s life so no one finds out about their class differences.
This example demonstrates how deeply entrenched social norms were in this period, making it seem almost impossible to fight against them.
Social norms are also present in a slightly smaller storyline with Virginia and Penelope.
Virginia has an extramarital affair with Mr. Hiscox. These two characters are present throughout the season as Benedict gets his idea of having Sophie as a mistress from Mr. Hiscox’s relationship with Virginia.
We see Virginia call out Penelope for writing about their relationship in Lady Whistledown, which brings up an important social norm that could even be applied today.
At the time, Virginia suffers embarrassment in the ton and tells Penelope that she has ruined her chances of becoming independent.
In this scenario, we see that Virginia will likely bear the most punishment from the situation over Mr. Hiscox.
This situation can also be seen today with the social norm where men may be praised for sleeping with multiple women while women are looked down upon for the same behavior.
Boundaries and Consent
Boundaries are present this season in both good and bad ways. This is most visible with Benedict and Sophie, specifically their first meeting.
At the first ball of the season, a masquerade, Benedict asks Sophie to dance with him. She informs him that she does not know how to dance, and he suggests they go to the private terrace.
Though this is not the best idea given the societal rules of the time—that they should not be seen in a private space together without a chaperone—Benedict clearly communicates his intentions.
He asks if she would prefer a chaperone there and ensures she is comfortable, respecting her boundaries.
Even though this is a great example, this scene also contains a less positive example of boundaries and consent.
Benedict and Sophie almost kiss outside on the terrace, but Benedict stops them, saying they should not. Sophie is confused and asks him what they should not do, but he does not explain and instead kisses her on the cheek.
This can be seen as a lack of informed consent because Sophie may not know the societal rules due to her being hidden away.
If she had that information, the scene may have gone differently, as she would have known that young women cannot be alone with men without a chaperone and definitely cannot kiss before marriage.
One could say, however, that Benedict most likely assumed she did have that knowledge since he does not know her status.
Sophie and Benedict continue having examples of boundaries and consent throughout the season.
One such example occurs when Sophie seems to want to cut off their relationship due to worries about losing her position. In episode five, we see Benedict try to kiss Sophie and the two discuss what being caught would mean for her.
This scene demonstrates Benedict not realizing the privileged position he holds to not worry about being caught, while Sophie has to think carefully about every move she makes.
Another important moment occurs in episode eight when Benedict begins discussing proposing.
Sophie tells him to wait until they are out of the situation surrounding the trial. He initially seems confused and reassures her that he has his family’s blessing, but when she explains that she wishes to wait because of the trial, he understands.
This scene also leads to a sex scene between the two where Sophie expresses a desire to wait for penetrative sex until after everything is resolved so as not to risk pregnancy.
He immediately agrees that they will wait. Instead, he focuses on pleasuring her and respects the boundary she sets.
This moment provides another good example of boundaries and consent between the two, showing that their communication can be healthy.
We would be remiss if we did not also discuss the worst consent scene in the season.
Francesca is forced into a vaginal exam to prove she is pregnant in order to claim her late husband’s estate.
Although she repeatedly says no, and even her brother Benedict stands up for her, she is forced to comply.
This practice was most likely standard for the time, but it is obviously not trauma-informed.
Beyond her not consenting, she is also dealing with this right after the passing of her husband and after a difficult fertility journey.
Thankfully, today we are moving toward more trauma-informed care, but it is important to recognize that this has not always been the case.
Position and Power
In episode one, we see the beginning of relationship problems between Lady Danbury and Queen Charlotte.
Lady Danbury expresses a desire to take a break from the ton and return to her homeland for a while.
The Queen does not take this well and immediately refuses, without asking questions.
This issue continues into the following episodes, with Lady Danbury being pressured to apologize by Brimsley and eventually confronting the Queen directly.
The Queen later apologizes, though Lady Danbury is still not allowed to leave.
Lady Danbury then begins trying to replace herself in the Queen’s court with Lady Mondrich, much to Lady Mondrich’s dismay.
This is an example of position and power roles in Bridgerton.
The Queen uses her position and power to force Lady Danbury to stay with her because she is lonely and dealing with pre-grief as the King may soon pass.
Lady Danbury is not necessarily innocent in these episodes either.
She uses her own position as the Queen’s advisor and an elder in the community to pressure Lady Mondrich into replacing her, even though Lady Mondrich clearly expresses that she does not want the role.
Although it may be said that Lady Danbury is doing this for Lady Mondrich’s benefit, her main goal is to allow herself to leave.
Eventually, the Queen does allow Lady Danbury to go, showing some growth in their relationship.
Even so, the season provides an interesting example of how power dynamics can affect relationships.
Reassurance and Communication
This article has so far focused on both negative and positive examples in the season, but there are also several healthy relationships shown.
Francesca and Lord John Kilmartin have a mostly healthy relationship.
We see this in the many ways that Lord Kilmartin reassures Francesca throughout the season.
After learning about “the pinnacle” (orgasm), Francesca feels insecure that she has never had one.
Because of this insecurity, she performs a fake orgasm, which Lord Kilmartin notices.
He reassures her that she does not need to perform for him and that there is nothing wrong with her.
He also explains that intimacy is not just about having children but about feeling closer to one another and enjoying the experience together.
He reassures her that there is no rush.
Lady Bridgerton and Lord Anderson also demonstrate strong communication.
Lady Bridgerton explains that she wants to explore her sexuality while still protecting her children.
Because she is a widow, she fears the judgment that may come with this choice.
Lord Anderson understands her concerns and reassures her that they can take things slowly.
Later, when they kiss and she stops, he immediately stops as well, gives her space, and respects her boundaries.
Although they ultimately end their relationship because they are in different places in life, the conversation is respectful and honest.
They communicate openly about their needs and separate amicably.
Sexuality at Older Ages
Lastly, this season offers strong representation of sexuality at older ages.
This representation began in the previous season when Lady Bridgerton explored her “garden,” and it continues here with her relationship with Lord Anderson.
In episode four, Lady Bridgerton speaks with her maid Mrs. Wilson about planning a private night with him.
They refer to intimacy as “evening tea,” and Mrs. Wilson reassures her that “everyone drinks tea.”
This moment helps calm Lady Bridgerton’s worries about being sexual at her age.
Throughout the season we see Lady Bridgerton grow more confident and comfortable exploring this part of herself.
Representation like this is still rare in media, and Bridgerton does a great job showing that sexuality is not defined by age.
Everyone can drink tea if they so wish.
Conclusion
Dear readers, we have explored many themes this season, both good and bad.
This author hopes that illuminating these examples will help you consume media more consciously while still enjoying the entertainment it brings.
We hope you will join us in our next issue of Reel Relationships, where we explore the show Heartstopper.
Please also check out our other blogs, including Beyond the Screen, which accompanies this one and explains power dynamics in further detail.
Yours truly,
Lady Our Voice
Howie Cable is an intern at Our Voice and a local student. He loves to promote community health education through creative ways, such as this blog.