A new school year means new classes, new friends, new roommates, and a lot more independence. Before the semester gets busy, take a few minutes to think about what you want your social and sexual life to look like this year.
Here’s a back-to-school checklist for building safer, healthier relationships, and helping create a campus culture where everyone can enjoy themselves without crossing someone else’s boundaries.
● Know your own boundaries. Think about what you are and aren’t comfortable with, before you’re in the moment. Your boundaries can change, and you never owe anyone sexual contact just because you said yes to something earlier.
● Talk about consent before things get sexual. Consent isn’t something you have to guess at. Check in with your partner, listen to their answer, and respect a “no,” “not right now,” any hesitation, or a change of mind.
● Have a plan for pregnancy and STI prevention. If you’re having sex that could result in pregnancy, talk with your partner about birth control and make sure you both know what you’re using. Condoms and other barrier methods can also reduce the risk of STIs. Don’t assume your partner is handling protection. Sexual health is a shared responsibility.
● Make a plan for alcohol and other substances. Decide ahead of the party how you’ll get home, who you’ll be with, and what you’ll do if someone becomes too intoxicated to participate in sex. Being intoxicated is never an invitation to take advantage of someone.
● Make your own action plan. It can be as simple as: I will not initiate sexual activity with someone who cannot meaningfully consent. I will respect boundaries the first time. I will check in rather than assume. If someone says stop, I will stop. Planning ahead makes it easier to follow through when emotions, alcohol, or peer pressure are involved.
● Ask a friend to help, if you need it. Maybe you’re drinking at the party tonight, and you know you have a tendency to get flirty and handsy once you’ve had a few. Ask a buddy to keep an eye on you and help you be accountable.
● Know how you’ll intervene when something feels wrong. If you see a friend pressuring someone, ignoring a boundary, or trying to take advantage of someone who is vulnerable, you have options. You can interrupt, create a distraction, check in with the person, or get help from someone else. You don’t have to handle every situation alone.
● Find your resources before you need them. Save campus and community resources in your phone. Know where you can go if you or a friend needs support, medical care, or someone to talk to.
The beginning of the school year is often talked about as a time to watch out for yourself, but sexual violence prevention is bigger than individual safety plans. It also means thinking about how we contribute to the environments around us. A safer campus isn’t created by asking potential victims to anticipate every possible danger. It’s created when people respect
boundaries, practice consent, look out for one another, and take responsibility for their own behavior.
So as you stock up on notebooks and figure out your class schedule, add one more thing to your list: make a plan for the kind of community member you want to be.